Shrink Rap with Dr. J: The One Where Dr. Laurie Johnson Talks about Death

Shrink Rap with Dr. J: Backstage with Dr. Laurie Johnson, LPC, AMS "The One Where Dr. J Talks about Death So She Gets No-Go Decline from Newspaper." [But is not bitter.]

Third grader putting to shame adults who don't have their goals clarified. I know I sound glib, but 28 years as a Therapist has taught me that dying taps you for the NS Club. No more pussyfooting. No more whiny, lost days. Let's #getGoals

On Tuesday, September 27, from 1-5, women and men will assemble at Berry's Ford Dining Hall, to discuss a very sober topic: Mortality. Why? Because it is a reality, whether we prepare for it or not! The Grim Reaper has a complete contact list. We are all on it. Dates to be determined, but our appointment is set. I am not being glib to say this, rather, I am being candid. Because, through the many painful deaths I have had to grieve, each death taught me that being candid counts. It counts in a BIG way.

None of the people I've loved, who sensed themselves nearing the finish line, wanted to talk niceties or nonsense. If they could speak, they wanted to speak authentically. If they could not speak, I know in my knower, they wanted to be surrounded by loved ones giving their genuine presence and heartfelt messages. Spoken or silently.

Most of us have some range of choice making about what we prefer for our end care, for where that happens, to what extent we want heroic measures attempted, and for how we put our financial, legal, spiritual and interpersonal affairs in order. Most of us have some range of choice making. Regrettably, that does not mean we will ATTEND to the task of determining those choices or ACQUAINT others with what we decide! This WIN Seminar, co-sponsored by the Harbin Clinic, Northwest Georgia Regional Cancer Coalition and Floyd Heyman Hospice Care, will kick start us into MAKING these vital decisions. I would say this Seminar will kick butt, but I was asked to be professional in representing the Women's Information Network. If you know me as Dr. J on WLAQ's weekly Saturday program, "Skills for Living" you'll know I have to be reminded to observe rules of polite society. Not that reminding me does much good. I tend to be a wild card. Why? Because of death.

Death came calling at my house rather early. Overnight, between the hours of my first date and daybreak, my mother died of cancer. I and my four sibs had been "sheltered" from the fact that her trips to the hospital were very serious. I was awakened by the Coroner and a policeman at my door, 18 months later, tightlipped about having found my father deceased, until my sister could get home to stand beside 15 year old me. I remember being instructed to call my sister home from work, and as I walked to the phone I told my BFF, "I guess Daddy is dead." My friend was aghast. She didn't have to ask why. Her ashen face shouted it. "Because if he were alive, they'd be rushing me somewhere" I answered. Neither deaths were the ideal way for a kid to say Good-byes, or for a loved one to take their leaving, in my humble opinion.

So, at the September 27th Seminar, Life: The Final Chapter ~ Write Your Own Ending, we'll all attempt to help you make good decisions for your journey, whenever you take leave of this world. You'll hear from Dr. Buford Harbin, Tim Adams RN, Dr. Amir Singh, Kitty Barton of RCB Financial Services, Rev. Denise Lowe, Christie Oh, Amy Astin (beloved coordinator of Volunteers at FMC) and yours truly, Dr. Laurie Johnson, LPC, AMS. We'll address (and panel conversation) about terminal illness, end care, Living Wills, communication, palliative medicine, family support, financial issues, the power of rituals, and more. I strongly doubt we will give any weight to euthanasia, even though that is a regrettable fear associated with national hospice care. I am a vote for Hospice, by the way. I spent years heading up Staff Development at Heyman Hospice, in a volunteer capacity as a Developmental Psychologist and RP (regular person.) Perhaps, one of the contributions to this seminar, will be debunking some myths and misperceptions that cause pain or loss.

Such a the misperception that you should not utter the words "death, dying or dead." I will be dead one day, but I hope it is after doing a great job of living and having a killer wake. Do you know what YOU want before you leave? There is no time like the present to give yourself the gift of answering that question. "Come hear seasoned professionals empower you to make end of life transition comfortable and meaningful," says our brochure. I say, come get a fantastic resource Book, hear helpful stuff and fellowship with wonderful folks. Women and men strongly urged to attend.

For more information, contact Sharon Baker at baker8483@comcast.net or call (706)506-2000, or Register at the Door. The cost is $20 (I'd pay $20 for the spectacular Resource Guide that's provided.) For more information go to www.informationforwomen.org. Or call me, (770)655-5364.

If this news article is published after the event, no problem. Our message is this: You deserve to know your options for medical care, family support, practical matters and self-care. Rome is graced to have many resources at hand, to help you maneuver through the final stretch of your loved one's life, or your own. On November 1st we will host "Women & Alzheimer's: Why Women are on the Front Line," and in February, we will host "Dynamic Mothers & Daughters: Love for a Lifetime."

Dr. Laurie Johnson established the Skills for Living Institute, Inc. in 1988 to provide "Insight, Skills & Support" for teens and adults. She is heard Saturdays, 9-9:30 on TalkRadio WLAQ and has written Dr. J's Field Guides, Teens 101 (2 volumes) and Marriage & Life (5 volumes.) Her book Letters to Santa: A Cure for Affluence appeared on Fox and Friends and Bill O'Reilly's The Factor. She is an award winning author, mother of 7, wife of Dan Johnson and Epsilon Sigma survivor. Dr. Johnson is a Facilitator for Winthrop Court and offers Retreats, seminars and workshops, in addition to Coaching, Counseling and Consulting.