What Inside Out Left Out

Shrink Rap with Dr. J    "What Inside Out Left Out"    Backstage with Dr. Laurie Johnson, LPC, AMS

           

               What do you look for in a great movie? Personally, I love to cheer for an underdog, I like to see love win out in the end, and in between, I like to have a good cry. By acknowledging this, I have probably just eliminated 60% of you from ever wanting to attend a movie with me!

               For me, that's okay, because the other thing that makes for a great cinema adventure, is being one of  5 or fewer viewers! Preferably, the other 4 viewers do not even dream of talking, commentating, using their phones, or incapably unwrapping candy for three minutes or more during sensitive scenes.  I have just nailed acceptable cinema etiquette for a delicious minority of movie goers. If you are a member of  my movie going tribe, I would tip my hat at you next time I'm at the theatre, except that #1, I don't wear a hat indoors and #2, no cinema seeker of our ilk wants to be acknowledged at the cinema. We are there to get lost  in the glow of the silver screen. We are not there for chatty chat or niceties, correct?

               Recently, I went to see the movie Inside Out. I'd been eager to see it, because as a Developmental Psychologist, I was dearly hoping that this film would help audience members get a keener grasp on how profoundly emotions impact us. I was especially enthusiastic about it being released,  because I'm known for telling everyone who will stand still about the "Committee" that each of us possesses, internally. I had a feeling this animated movie would come very close to illustrating the idea of having a "Committee" and I was not disappointed!

               Actually, I was. Disappointed.

               But, I wasn't disappointed at first. While I watched Inside Out, I delighted in how well it captured the humor, poignancy, pain, and triumph of human nature. I loved that it illustrated the tangle and interplay of our emotions and needs and fears and insecurities.

               I hope that everyone who sees Inside Out, will leave with a fresh awareness that ALL of us wrangle with our emotions. That is not a struggle left to teens or women or "emotional people." It is a struggle shared by everyone who has a pulse. The difference is--some people factor that in, and others (the majority) navigate blindly through this storm called Life.

               One of the regrettable things I see in our society, is the presumption that we are rational and informed people, and therefore, we view things sensibly and objectively. HA! The truth is, no matter how informed, educated, mature, seasoned, worldly, or clever we are--we still experience the world through a lens. A uniquely crafted and damaged (and possibly modified) lens. We  carry old pain, fears, and insecurities. Although it wasn't illustrated in the film, we also carry internalized rules, roles, expectations, and assumptions. Maybe that will be illustrated (no pun intended) in a sequel, as our heroine matures.

                These emotions and insecurities crawl, slither, bounce, pounce and fume out of our psychological backpack, whenever we encounter something that causes us to pause on our path. The interruption can be as mundane as a wait for public transit, or as dramatic as getting a bad diagnosis. A word, a gesture, an image or a memory triggers us. Sensations, flashbacks, longings, and moods expose that we do not function rationally like Mr. Spock.

               Unexpectedly, throughout a day,  we get swept up or sidetracked or jacked up by a menagerie of emotions, memories, wonderings and assumptions. We may not be attuned to hearing our self-talk, but it is rolling! Inside our "Committee" is a host of voices weighing in on how we are feeling,  what we are doing, and how we are (or are not) measuring up! The Committee is also consumed with gauging how we are being viewed, scrutinized, idolized, or ignored, depending on the mood we are in.  I really liked the way that Inside Out introduces audiences, both youthful and adult, to the rascally world of emotions and the thoughts that shape them. Good job, Inside Out movie team! That was a GREAT introduction to a needful topic. Bravo!

               So, what disappointed me about Inside Out? Not a thing, until the story marinated with me a day or two. I was honestly so thrilled to see a movie  offer relevant societal  benefit, that I didn't notice it lacked anything vital. However, as I've mused about it, I have a concern that it colors a world that lacks the epicenter that makes life worth living,  pain worth enduring, and love worth risking.

               Granted, a movie can never capture all that a book embodies, and that may be the case with Inside Out. I am not a movie critic, nor do I aspire to be one, so I have not done the homework necessary to sort out the intent and challenges that faced these film makers.

               But, here is my concern. There is no Value Island.

               As you may know, Inside Out revolves around an 11 year old girl who loves her home, family, friends and hockey, but is faced with cross country relocation. Once there, she struggles to adjust, in ways all too familiar to anyone who has made that challenging adjustment, especially during Middle School years! (I could identify. I went to three different Middle Schools!)

               When disappointment and resentment about her circumstances reaches a peak, the young girl makes the risky decision to run away. All works out in the end, but not in smarmy way. In  a good, open ended way that reminds families that they are always a work in progress, and that compassion is a family's greatest asset. I am all for that!

               Although the movie offers a lot of great lessons and fun entertainment, underneath the story thread is fault line, in my estimation. Granted, I can't watch a movie without analyzing it. Probably, that is because I am in a profession that presents me daily, with the cares and confessions of great people wrestling with life and its challenges. They face "First world" issues that are heavily influenced by media and movies, rock stars and celebrities. 

               As someone heavily invested in where our society is moving, when I see a movie inclined to romanticize or demonize or normalize a certain world view, my ears perk up. Which of these "izes" did Inside Out do, in my estimation?

               You decide. Just consider this, AFTER you have seen the movie. What's to give an "island" meaning? What's to keep it from toppling? Anyone who has been in a family for over a decade, understands that they can teeter on a razor's edge of peace and panic, love and loathing, affection and animosity. 

               What's to keep Family Island afloat? Popularity of the parents? Then, they better not make tough, unpopular decisions. A system of chores that gets things done while annoying or offending no one?  No imposing on a son or daughter's freedoms or convenience? Hmm. What keeps a family or marriage held together, when fiery sparks ignite from competing needs, rollercoaster moods, and brazen self-interest?

                What's to keep Hobby Island afloat--in this case, Hockey Island? That it is fun? That it  is rewarding? That you're whipping the competition? That despite a loss, you pull together? Is that the pinnacle of a sport, hobby, or passion? Is there any higher purpose to hobbies?

               What's to keep Friendship Island afloat? The absence of tension, or the resolution of conflicts? The feel goods? What about when friendship demands us to grow and stretch and eat humble pie? Do we kick people off the Island, or conform to what others want?

               What's to keep Goofy Island afloat? Are its days numbered? Will it  collapse under the weight of needing to be cool? Is it only about silliness?

               What is to keep Honesty Island afloat? Is it enough that we can be honest about things that are morally compromised? If you watch any teen TV, you've seen how prevalent it is for teens to inform their parents that yes, they are sexually active. Yes, they'll make their own choices about drinking, smoking and drugging. The air of  "I'll decide for myself" is thicker than ever. Is being honest with Mom and Dad enough? Is being honest with oneself enough? Is there no moral compass to provide a True North?

               Think about your family. Have you been exposed to the idea of  a Value Island that could  provide your family a unifying philosophy about what things matter, why they matter and how to live an integrated, intentional life?  I know of a Value Island that is able to comfort inhabitants with the knowledge that they have infinite worth--while also reminding them that their actions and choices can sometimes be sketchy or cowardly.

               What that Value Island does, is impact and orient every other island. 


            Hobby Island becomes more than a team schedule, competitions, and scores. 

 It becomes a stage on which to find your best, share your best, and to better other people's lives. 

Family Island becomes something that warms and feeds insiders…so much that they want to warm and feed outsiders. 


Friendship Island becomes a place where friendship is more than a magnet for fun, it becomes a compass to help two people recognize whether they are going toward or away from their best selves. 


Goofy Island comes into better focus, as Delight Island--the sanctuary where we can maintain childlike  joy and revelry and wonder. Wonder that can enliven us for as long as we live. Wonder that's a lot more healthy than adolescent and adult escapes through alcohol and thrill seeking. 

                 Honesty Island can operate from a value system deeper than authenticity. It can root down into authentically upright.

               Without Value Island, we have a life of floating buoys that tell us the ocean's depth, but not the ocean's glory. We have islands upon which to play, recreate, wrestle and indulge ourselves, but we don't have life beyond ourselves.

               Whether your Value Island is one of altruism and humanitarianism, it should add a dynamic dimension and unity to all your islands, shouldn't it? If your island is one of surrender to a Higher Power, it should cast a unique light on all the islands in your life, right? Especially if one of your islands is Sobriety Island. And, if your Value Island is faith-based, I hope its fruit is shown in love, mercy and justice.  

After all, "justice" means giving people what is fair. Give them dignity, basic needs, and a path forward, and we'll build less jails and have less hungry and homeless faces assigned to "I don't see them" Island.

It certainly means giving back...to those who gave us so much, like Veterans.

               So, now you know my concern. A society that views life as a constellation of "what we do" islands, and "who we are" groupings, is missing something. It is missing a higher calling. It is missing the sun to its solar system. A sun to warm and to illuminate all the islands in one's life. The ones we choose to inhabit. The ones we find ourselves lost upon. The ones we swim toward, aching for rest and revival. The ones where we gather together, to grow, to heal, and to make miracles happen.

               If you should see Inside Out again, maybe you'll ask yourself this question. If our insides can show on the outside…do your insides have a center? Is that center solid? Or,  is it only as stable as the moods, the memories, the mushiness, and the madness of life? If so, consider  making a trek to discover your own Value Island. It matters.

This is me. Goofy, Caring, Loving...and committed to helping this world becoming a safe place to live.

www.drlauriejohnson.com

Photos courtesy of Disney/Pixar promotions